- Nick Morrison - Special Teams
Called "too small to play pro football," Morrison is an underdog trying to make his name as a punt returner. Plagued by self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, "Mouse" Morrison will try just about anything to make his dreams happen.
- Wendell Vance - Wide Receiver
A charismatic veteran of several pro teams, Vance is an inspirational leader with an eye, as they say, for the ladies. Dude is known to organize rollicking parties on road trips and hopes his agent can get him a shot on Celebrity Hip Hop.
- Tommy Way - Right Guard
Way is an annoyingly cheerful sort with a down-home aphorism for everything. Last seen at practice watching one teammate chase another trying to start a fight, Way's response was, "Look at that boy, actin' crazier than a sprayed roach."
- Jim Shave - Quarterback
Shave is a big-ticket free-agent acquisition who's supposed to save the franchise. Immediately thrust into the starting lineup, Shave's personality is, shall we say, unburdened by complexity, but the QB is struggling with his hot reads.
- Isaiah Townsel - Practice Squad
An undrafted rookie corner, Townsel is a religious kid whose coaches have always told him he isn't "furious enough." He's got potential and he sure is a kindly sort. But can he do what it takes to make a pro roster?
- Starling Fond - Head Coach
A veteran, Scripture-quoting leader of men, Fond is coming off a losing season and feeling the hot seat. He preaches focus above all else, but may be too distracted by a family illness to do what's necessary.
- Brian Nugent - Offensive Coordinator
Nugent is a believer in spreading out a defense and throwing the ball. His communication skills are, one might proclaim, a bit profane, but his fearlessness may be a good thing for this squad. Or, y'know, maybe not so much.
- Zeke Hoverman - Running Back
A veteran running back and former first-round draft choice, Hoverman has never lived up to his hype, and he knows it. He's a moody sucker. Smart and funny, this bruising back is a tough dude and a chemistry problem waiting to happen.
- Butch Hinkerson - Backup Quarterback
Self-styled as "Hurricane Hink," this knucklehead never misses a chance to spout off. He'd better be ready because starting QBs get hurt all the time. Of course, Hinkerson may also wind up taped to the practice goalposts for running his yammer.
- Danny Shugarts - Defensive End
This sackmeister is one of the league's most feared edge rushers, but that didn't stop wiseguys from nicknaming him "Sugar Tits." A defensive leader and religious man, all Shugarts wants to do is kill QBs.